Let me introduce you to my new friends. Say hello.
These jelly beans have been my constant companions for the last couple of days. As a result, I now have no friends left. In a very unfriendlike gesture, I have eaten every one of them. [On a tangent: I have just read The Life of Pi and there is friend-eating in that, too. What a fabulous book. Surely the film can't match up to it. I will go and see at some point.]
I wrote a post a few weeks ago about different ways to approach the eating of custard. And now I am wondering whether, all over the world, people have different approaches to the eating of jelly beans.
Readers, do you....
a) not eat Jelly Beans at all? [Please feel free to ignore the rest of this tosh, then, and go back to more interesting pursuits such as clipping your toenails and measuring them, or counting the number of cat hairs on your sofa, or reading your copy of Stapler Manufacturing Monthly.]
b) eat Jelly Beans one by one, checking which flavour each one is, then savouring it slowly to get the full exoticism of Hawaiian Pineapple, or the spiciness of Cinnamon?
c) select Jelly Beans of the same flavour and eat a few at a time of, say, Wild Cherry or Passion Fruit?
d) take a random handful of Jelly Beans, check that their flavours all mix, then eat them?
e) scoop Jelly Beans out indiscriminately and eat them, not even bothering to check the flavours?
f) scoop Jelly Beans out indiscriminately - as many as you can get into your palm - and eat them, checking the flavour descriptions casually to see what you might just have eaten?
I am not telling you which one describes my Jelly Bean consumption habits. In my defence, I have been rather busy lately.
Something else I need to tell you is that Jelly Beans don't go particularly well with wine. I was consuming both tonight while celebrating the fact that my book 'Being Miss'has now sold enough copies for Amazon Kindle to pay me £100 in royalties. [This has taken a year.] The celebrations were dulled a little by the odd combination of Pinot Grigio (the wine) with SouthSeasKiwiMarshmallowPeachyPieBubblegumRaspberryJamCandyFlossBlueberryPie (The Beans), but were cheerful nevertheless.